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This is a transcribed copy for the episode "Analyze Piss." Feel free to edit or add to this page as long as the information comes directly from the episode. |
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Transcript[]
(Rick and Morty are on an island firing at small creatures)
Morty: I-I can't hold them off, Rick! Th-There's too many!
( Rick gets slapped by a creature's arm)
Mr. Nimbus: Richard! Your fortress is a salty waste of coral and clam. Relinquish it at once! (Rick runs up to him and punches him. He breaks a hole in a ship on the water. He lands on the water. He runs up, and punches Rick) Submit, you continental c***. (Rick pushes him away)
Rick: Got a better idea. (He sounds an alarm, alerting Morty)
Morty: Oh, shit! Oh, shit! Oh, shit! Oh, shit! (He runs as the whole island explodes)
Rick: Happy?
Mr. Nimbus: Of course I'm happy. You're acting like you won, but this is exactly what I wanted! I am Mr. Nimbus! (His clam takes him away)
Rick: Ugh, whatever. Come on, Morty.
Morty: Man, that was intense.
Rick: Yeah, ni[BURPS]ce work, buddy. Sorry I had to blow up your bunker.
Cookie Magneto: Not so fast, Sanchez. It is I, Cookie Magneto.
Rick: What the fuck? I'm... I'm not engaging this guy.
Cookie Magneto: That's hardly up to you, Rick.
Morty: I'm sorry, do you control things that people agree are cookies?
Cookie Magneto: Yes.
Morty: Okay, but cookies aren't a substance. They're more of a name we-we give to-
Cookie Magneto: To the things I control.
Morty: Do you control cookie ingredients? Because, y'know, t-that sounds dangerous. Y'know, everything has sugar in it.
Cookie Magneto: Fight me and find- (Rick shoots him)
Morty: Jesus, Rick!
Rick: I'm sorry, Morty. I know you're gonna say it's punching down, but I can't fight another one of these ' style goofball super villains. I'm not the fucking Tick. I'm-I'm-I'm exhausted.
Morty: Okay, but i-if you really have a lot of these guys gunning for you, maybe you should look into what you're doing to...
Rick: Oh, don't start that crap, Morty. I don't do anything for these dipshits to seek me out.
Mr. Calypso: I am Mr. Calypso! Face me, you ugly, drunk, ugly piece of shit.
Rick: Okay, I might look into it.
(Intro plays. Cuts to Dr. Wong's office)
Dr. Wong: Why don't you have a seat?
Rick: 'Cause this isn't a therapy session. I-I'm just asking you what people in your racket say about handling this particular situation.
Dr. Wong: First, we'd want you to define the situation.
Rick: I'm a walking target for a never-ending sea of angry nerds that think getting in a fight with me is some kind of... I don't know, platform? I mean, look at this guy. He shows up and calls me an "ugly drunk." Because, of course, that's the angle of attack that's gonna undo me, right? You don't shoot Batman in his fucking Batman logo.
Dr. Wong: And you think locking this man in a chamber and milking him of cosmic fluid will somehow resolve this?
Rick: I think it's the best I can do to profit from a situation and maybe set an example.
Dr. Wong: But you've set this example many times and it's not changing your situation.
Rick: Yeah, yeah, yeah, and now you're gonna tell me to ignore them. But guess what? They want that too.
Dr. Wong: And why would they want to be ignored?
Rick: You really believe if I let a guy like this do whatever he wants, he gets bored and vanishes?
Dr. Wong: Rick, would you be interested in proving me wrong?
Rick: Yes!
Dr. Wong: Then show me data. Ignore them for a week and see what happens.
Rick: Oh you're on, bitch.
Dr. Wong: (seeing a guy inside a machine) Is that man dead?
Rick: Is everything in here confidential?
Dr: Wong: Everything but murder.
Rick: Then he's fine.
(Cuts to the dining room. The family is eating dinner)
Morty: I mean, I-I think it's pretty big, you know? Big step for the big cheese.
Beth: Yeah, Dad, I'm impressed.
Rick: Can we not make it a big deal?
Jerry: It's worth celebrating, Rick. You accepted the concept of therapy without turning yourself into a pickle or a housefly.
Rick: Jerry, for fuck's sake, that was a regular fly in her office that day.
(A thunderstorm of piss can be heard outside)
Jerry: What the hell?
Pissmaster: Riiick! How 'bout a little piss?
Jerry: Rick, why is there a man shooting piss on our front lawn?
Rick: I'm sure he'll tell you.
Pissmaster: I am Pissmaster! Here to flush the toilet that is Rick Sanchez. (sprays the window with piss)
Jerry: He's spraying my lavender bush. My bees need that lavender!
Rick: Remember five seconds ago when you guys were stoked about me changing, because it made you feel superior?
Pissmaster: Ooh, whole family's here. Who's that redhead? Wouldn't mind spraying her with a golden shower.
Summer: Oh, my God, what?
Beth: Hey!
Jerry: Okay, that's it!
Rick: Jerry, please think about this. If you fight this guy, I'm either an asshole for not helping, or an asshole for helping.
Jerry: My daughter just got spoken of in porno terms, and I'll respond how I choose! (he walks outside, ready to fight Pissmaster)
Morty: Wait, Dad, don't!
Beth: Honey!
Jerry: Hey.
Pissmaster: You want a piece of piss?
Jerry: If that's your stupid rude way of saying I have to fight you, I will.
Pissmaster: Take your shot, pussy.
Jerry: Don't talk to me that way. Go away!
Pissmaster: Make me.
Jerry: Go away! (he punches Pissmaster, but gets sprayed with piss) Ow!
Beth: Careful, honey! (she tries to run toward Jerry and Pissmaster, but Morty grabs her by the arm and shakes his head no)
(Jerry punches Pissmaster into the street. Pissmaster sprays him, and he falls to the ground)
Pissmaster: Just stay down. I-I don't even know you.
Jerry: Yeah, you don't know me, but I'm gonna know your whole ass, you son of a gun. (he slaps Pissmaster repeatedly. Summer takes a video of it. The neighbors across the street are watching)
Neighbor (Female): Hey, none of that!
Neighbor (Male): Break it up, guys!
(They continue fighting. Pissmaster pushes Jerry, causing Jerry to knock over a plastic flamingo)
Jerry: Come on, you dirty motherfucker. (he smacks Pissmaster with the flamingo repeatedly. Pissmaster tries to hide under a car, but can't fit, because of the tank on his back. Jerry drags him out of the car and continues attacking him)
Pissmaster: No! No, no, no, no no! Stop! Aah! (Jerry continues swinging the flamingo at him) Uncle! Mercy! Mercy! Stop! I give up!
Jerry: Apologize to my daughter.
Pissmaster: (sobbing) For what?
Jerry: You know for what!
Pissmaster: I'm sorry! I'm sorry I sexualized you! It came out wrong! (flies away while sobbing)
Summer: That's my dad. That's my fucking dad!
(Everyone watching give him a round of applause)
Beth: Honey, I'm so proud of you. (she kisses Jerry but his lip is bleeding)
Jerry: Ow!
Beth: Oh, sorry.
(Rick heals Jerry)
Jerry: Thank you, Rick. (continues kissing Beth)
(Cuts to the dining room. The family is eating cereal)
Morty: Damn, hashtag #FlamingoDad is everywhere!
Summer: Buzzfeed made an odd numbered list of other people's observations about you, and you're getting a lot of hand clap emojis on White Twitter's impression of Black Twitter.
Beth: Jezebel's offering a cash reward for evidence that you're a bad person. That is their highest honor!
Jerry: So this is what it's like to trend. Feels good. Feels right.
Rick: Just keep in mind, now a bunch more assholes are gonna know they can get a rise out of you.
Beth and Summer: Boooo!
Morty: Rick, let a dog have one day.
Rick: I'm letting! I'm letting!
(Two orbs come out of the sky)
Summer: Whoa. Are those orbs?
Rick: This is what I'm talking about. Some asshole saw that fight and, believe it not, they were jealous of Pissmaster.
(They all walk outside. The people come out of the orb)
Blagnar the Eternal: I am Blagnar the Eternal. We seek the earthling who beat up Pissmaster.
Summer: That's my dad, Jerry Smith!
Blagnar the Eternal: Jerry Smith, our Galactic Orbship thirsts for justice and those who deliver it.
Rick: Wait, what?
Blagnar the Eternal: Our great council would like to offer you this silver orb and with it a place amongst us. (gives him the orb)
Jerry: Whoa. It-It-It's sticky.
Blagnar the Eternal: Yeah, that means it's found a pure heart it wants to bond with.
Rick: You guys saw my son-in-law on the news, now he gets a sticky orb. What's the catch? We're not rubes.
Blagnar the Eternal: Yeah, your power is well known in our jurisdiction, Rick Sanchez, and it should come as no surprise that our orbs are unsticky for you.
Rick: Oh, no, first I get banned from the Nextdoor app, now this.
Jerry: I'd be honored to join your organization. S-So what do I do? Rub the orb when I see crime? Or-Or eat the orb like spinach?
Blagnar the Eternal: The orb is raw power. Trust your heart, Jerry. It will know what to do.
(Cuts to the living room. Jerry is trying to work the orb. The microwave turn on, and Summer walks into the kitchen)
Summer: Did you turn on the microwave?
Jerry: No? Maybe? I-I was trying to fly. I-
(Everyone looks at Rick)
Rick: What?
Jerry: I mean, come on, Rick. Orbs and goblets, this is your thing.
Rick: Orbs and goblets.
Jerry: I'm just saying, you're the orb guy in the family. Can you please help me?
Rick: Jerry, I give you raw power, you'll end up miserable like me. Trust me, I'm helping by not helping.
Jerry: Wow.
Morty: Seriously, Rick?
Summer: What the eff, Grandpa? Some creep tried to pee on my tits and you did nothing. Now you're gonna sit there and hold our dad back from being a hero? Are you seriously that petty?
Rick: Okay, you know what? Fine!
(Cuts to the garage. Jerry is wearing a suit that Rick made)
Rick: Here. Here's your god damn suit. I hard-wired the orb's infinite energy right into it.
Jerry: This shooty thing looks cool.
Rick: That "shooty thing" is a nuclear disruptor that can blow up planets.
Morty: Whoa.
Beth: So tight.
Summer: Kinda hot.
Jerry: Okay, show me, uh... acts of evil happening around the galaxy. (pulls up a map of the galaxy from his arm) Whoa, Space Hitlers? "Space Hitlers are convening on Zeplar Prime." My God, each one of them is their own type of hitler.
Summer: Oh, shit, do that one.
Morty: Yeah, th-that's a problem.
(Jerry and Beth make out)
Summer: Aw, you guys.
Morty: That's my parents.
Jerry: Wow. Well, family, looks like Jerry Smith has his first orb mission. Lawn Flaming-Ho! (flies away into space)
Rick: Just a reminder, you guys asked for this.
(Cuts to a galactic order in space)
Leader: Soon, our legion of Hitlers will bring about a new galactic order. A Reich, if you will. Riddle hitler me this-
Guy with cane: I'm sorry, are we just letting in all Hitlers now?
Jerry: (pops in through the ceiling) Auf wiedersehen, bad guys!
Leader: Exterminate him!
(They all fire at Jerry)
Jerry: Ow! shit! Oh, Jesus. One at a time! (flies away) Ah, oh, my God! (a laser comes out of his arm and explodes a planet) Uh, hope there weren't other people on that planet.
(Cuts to a news broadcast)
News Reporter: And there were no other people on the planet! Only Hitlers! Each one ready to start their own holocaust, meaning an estimated billion lives were saved by a single blast. And the galaxy owes it all to Jerry Smith. Hashtag #FlamingoDad.
Rick: You gotta be fucking kidding me.
News Reporter: Up next... Oh, actually nothing.I guess we're just gonna talkabout Jerry Smith some more.
(Goes to commercial. Cuts to Dr. Wong's office)
Mr. Goldenfold: I dunno, therapy is starting to feel hopeless. I've got so many issues! (Rick turns him into a fly)
Rick: We need to talk.
Dr. Wong: Hey. No. I will not speak with you if you refuse to treat me and my patients with respect.
(Rick turns him back to human)
Mr. Goldenfold: Oh, Lord. I was a fly! So unburdened, so free of shame! Welp, I'm officially cured!
Rick: Here. Here's your data. Hard proof that God hates me. (pulls up a replay of what happened) I ignored a troll, and Jerry beat the guy's ass. Now he's got this orb and he's using the power which I gave him to annihilate planets of Hitlers, and everyone's popping champagne.
Dr. Wong: Rick, you came here because you wanted things to change, and they're changing. It's working.
Rick: Oh, so if my bumbling moron of a son-in-law beats up people, it's "working," but if I do it, it's a cosmic abuse of power?
Dr. Wong: Rick, listen to yourself. You're complaining about how you have to be careful with your immense power and that Hitlers are dead. Everything you're describing is positive.
Rick: Oh, shit. Not reacting. That really is the kill move?
Dr. Wong: I don't know if you need to think about it in terms of murder, but, yes, just stay the course.
Rick: Okay, good... good talk.
Dr. Wong: Well, what you're describing is therapy, and if you'd like to keep receiving it, start scheduling your visits with Judy up front.
(Cuts to a planet that Jerry is on)
Jerry: Thank you, thank you, Flamingo Fam. Uh, you know, when they asked me if I wanted to be the first human to drive a Mitsubishi Space Lancer, I thought, "Well, I don't know. I got this cool orb suit that goes really fast." But you know what sold me? (opens the door with the key) The Council said I could pick my own bridge crew. Morty, Summer, Beth, what do you say?
Beth: What? Are you serious?
Summer: Oh, shit, yeah, I love Mitsubishi!
Morty: Me too! I-I've heard of them!
Summer: This is so exciting!
(They walk in, and check out everything)
Summer: Oh, my God! This is so cool!
Jerry: All right, gang, orbs away! (they fly away)
(Rick watching the ship fly away, taking a drink from his bottle. Mr. Stringbean walks up to him)
Mr Stringbean: O me o' my, can it be? A giant piece of shit I see?
(Rick puts on sunglasses, not having a care in the world)
Mr. Stringbean: I am Mr. Stringbean! No one resists my rhyming scheme!
Doctor Buckles: Hey, douchebag, why don't you chill out?
Mr. Stringbean: Who's this asshole?
Doctor Buckles: I am Doctor Buckles! Here to tighten the belt on your opinions!
Mr. Stringbean: Oh, you wanna see the Bean get mean?
(They both fight it out)
Rick: I'll be damned. I'm out.
(Cuts to Rick at a bar)
Rick: I'm out. I'm-I'm out.
Alien Girl #1: Oh, my God, this Piss Guy is getting wailed on.
Alien Girl #2: Oh! Look at him, he tried to crawl under the car! What a loser.
Bartender: Hey, you watching the Pissmaster video?
Alien Girl #1: Yeah.
Alien Girl #2: He has to be the biggest piece of shit in the galaxy, right?
Bartender: Oh-ho, without a doubt. Who could relate, being that much of a piece of shit?
(Rick gets in the spaceship and flies to his apartment. He breaks in, and finds out he died in the bathtub)
Rick: God damn it. Fuck, shit, come on, man. Fuck, come on, where is it? (heals him back up) Shit, shit. Ugh! fuck! (puts a machine on his forehead. Rick tries to revive him back to life) Come on, Pissmaster, come on.
(Pissmaster comes back, but struggles to speak)
Rick: Damn it. (tries to revive him again. The doorbell rings, and knocking can be heard. Rick looks out the peephole, and Pissmaster's daugher is there)
Pissmaster's Daughter: It's me. Please, please just open up. Dad? Mom told me you weren't responding to her calls and I'm worried, okay? I know I said terrible things about you on my podcast. It's just... I've been so frustrated with you. (voice breaks) Look, if you were to ever do something, I'd never stop blaming myself. Just, please. Please let me know you're okay.
Rick: God damn it. (he opens the door slightly, dressed up as Pissmaster) I'm okay, honey. We're good.
Pissmaster's Daughter: I thought something happened to you.
Rick: I can tell you for sure... if anything happens to me, it's 100% not on you. It's my own choice.
Pissmaster's Daughter: You still sound like you're gonna do something bad. Just promise you won't, okay?
Rick: Okay, yeah. Promise.
Pissmaster's Daughter: Love you, Dad. (walks away. Rick closes the door)
Rick: (sighs) Fuck. (he sits down on the couch, and finds a note on the table)
Pissmaster: Well, this is it. I'm killing myself, because of Jerry Smith. The Earth man. FlamingoDad. Seeing them all cheer as I got my ass whipped made me realize... people just wanna see me fail. All I've ever wanted to do is prove them wrong.
(Rick creates a suit, and disguises himself as Pissmaster. Cuts to a guy stealing a woman's purse)
Woman: (screams) Help!
(The guy gets shot with piss. Rick swoops down, and returns the purse to her)
Woman: Wait! Who are you?
Rick: Pissmaster. M-M-Make, make sure you tell everybody Pissmaster saved you. Those were heat-seeking pissiles by the way. Not just missile.
Woman: Oh, ugh, okay.
(Cuts to a music montage of Rick saving people as Pissmaster. A song similar to Y'all Ready For This by 2 Unlimited is playing)
♪ Y'all ready for piss? ♪
News Cameraman: Yo! Pissmaster! You saving that cat to make people forget you suck?
Rick: Nope, just saving it to save it.
News Cameraman: Okay, we got nothing.
(Rick sprays an ice rink filled with piss)
♪ Piss ♪
♪ Pee ♪
♪ Urine ♪
♪ Number one ♪
♪ Pee pee ♪
♪ Piss ♪
♪ Pee ♪
Random Guy: Look, it's Pissmaster!
(Pissmaster sprays piss at an active volcano)
(Computer chimes)
Rick: Dr. Wong, what's up?
Dr. Wong: Rick, you're late for your session.
Rick: Cancel it. Bill me. I'm good.
Dr. Wong: You're good?
Rick: Yeah, see, I put on the suit of my enemy and I fucking love it. Now I'm gonna make a giant bomb, plant it in a city, and then have his suit auto-pilot the bomb into space. Boom. Everyone will think Pissmaster sacrificed himself. He dies a hero, I get a win I'd otherwise never get myself, nice wet bow on top.
Dr. Wong: I'm tempted to second guess a lot of that, but I think you might be nailing it.
Rick: What?
Dr. Wong: If it's free and fun, do it. It sounds healthy.
Rick: Oh, that wasn't my goal, but good to know. Shit, gotta go.
(Everyone cheers and applause Rick. Rick flies away)
Alien #1: No, exactly. And the slave planet thing, I hear he broke their chains with pure urine, so...
(Jerry flies down toward them)
Jerry: Hey, guys, sorry I'm late, lot of traffic on the orbway.
Alien #2: Take a seat, Jerry. We were just discussing Pissmaster's honorable rise.
Jerry: I mean, who cares, right?
Alien: #1: Uh, people are talking about him. He's becoming likable. Good, even.
Jerry: But... he's Pissmaster.
Alien #3: People change, Jerry. Everyone loves a comeback story. (all muttering to each other)
Alien #1: All in favor of offering orbship to Eugene Michael Piss, aka Pissmaster?
Everyone: Orb-yes.
Alien #1: All those opposed?
Jerry: Obviously orb-no.
Alien #1: The orbship has spoken. You know what, Jerry? I think this is a good test for you. If you can't let go of your pettiness enough to recruit Pissmaster, maybe you don't deserve your orb. And, Jerry... don't come back without him.
(Cuts to a news report)
News Reporter: Absolute chaos! No one knows who planted the bomb, but one thing is clear: Orphan Island, a city populated entirely by orphans, now sits on the brink of doom. The Orphan Island bomb squad is trying to dismantle it as we speak.
(Timer beeping)
Eight year old: I can't stress enough, I'm eight years old, I have no idea what I'm doing!
Another kid: Look! It's Pissmaster!
Rick: Oh, no! There's no time to dismantle it! Come on, it's not safe here. (creates a piss slide, and they slide down it) Pisspop? Pisspop? Pisspop? (flies down to Jerry
Jerry: Pissmaster.
Rick: Jerry, what are you doing here?
Jerry: (sighs) Eugene Michael Piss, by decree of the Andromeda strain, our great council presents you with this orb, which you have to take.
Rick: Fuck off, Jerry, I'm in the middle of something.
Jerry: Excuse me? Hey, this is the greatest honor you could ever be given.
Rick: I don't want it! (starts flying)
Jerry: Well, you have to take it.
Rick: Jesus Christ, get the fuck out of here! (flies away)
Kid: He's flying it into space! He's gonna sacrifice himself!
(Jerry is shooting at Rick)
Jerry: Get back here, you ungrateful shit!
Rick: What is your problem?! You're screwing up my hero death!
Jerry: Good!
Kid: FlamingoDad wants us to blow up?! When did he become a shitheel?
Other kid: Life comes at you fast.
Summer: Jesus, Dad! People are filming!
Morty: Yeah, maybe dial it back?
(They both continue fighting. Jerry punches Rick's helmet, revealing that it is indeed Rick disguised as Pissmaster)
Jerry: (gasps) Rick?
Rick: PissSuit! Auto-pilot the payload!
PISS A.I.: Confirmed.
(Rick leaves his suit, making a flushing noise. Rick grabs Jerry. Rick's suit flies and explodes. Rick uses a shield to try to avoid the blast. Cuts to a news report of the explosion)
Pissmaster's Daughter: (watching) That's my fucking dad.
(Both Rick and Jerry fall down to the ground. The ship the Smith family is on flies down)
Beth: Jerry?!
Summer: Dad?! Are you okay?
Jerry: Your father is the fucking Pissmaster!
Morty: Um...
Summer: Grandpa? What the hell?
(Blagnar the Eternal comes down)
Blagnar the Eternal: Jerry, what is this? People are saying you turned shitheel?
Jerry: Well, apparently my father-in-law is Pissmaster, so why don't you ask him?
What the...? Rick Sanchez the Pissmaster? Okay, this is not a good look.
Blagnar the Eternal: (sighs) This family, man. Look, I don't know what kinda weird shit you two are pulling, but it's completely unstickworthy. We're done here.
Jerry: But I didn't know! I-I'm a good guy. I-I made you all famous!
Blagnar the Eternal: I'm 1,000 years old. You know how many "Flamingo Dads" I've seen? Don't orb us. (flies away)
Jerry: I don't get it. You... You were Pissmaster the whole time?
Rick: Obviously not, Jerry. I put the suit on once Pissmaster killed- Uh, when... when you made him- Uh, yeah. I-I've always been Pissmaster.
Summer: But that would mean you let my dad beat you up just so he could, like, feel more confident? Wow.
Morty: Damn, Rick.
Beth: Yeah, that's amazing.
Jerry: Hold on, Wh... Everyone's just accepting this? Wait. Wasn't Pissmaster an alien?
Summer: He obviously avatar'd it.
Morty: Probably a robot.
Jerry: But why? Why would Rick even prop me up like that?
Beth: Jesus, Jerry. Rick did something nice for once, okay? He's obviously trying to change.
(The ship takes them back home)
Mitsubishi Ship: You are no longer worthy of Mitsubishi.
Beth: Proud of you, Dad, or should I say: Pissmaster.
Summer: Yeah, Grandpa, sorry I yelled at you.
Jerry: And I guess I'm sorry for trying to stop you from killing yourself with a nuclear bomb. I just... really liked having an orb.
Rick: Eh. Don't sweat it, Jer. Piss under the bridge.
(Beth, Jerry and Summer walk into the house)
Morty: Man, I guess the therapy worked, huh? Opening up, doing all that just to make my dad feel good. That's pretty great of you, Rick.
Rick: Yeah... that's right, Morty. (Morty starts walking away) That's right. Wait, Morty. You have to promise not to tell anyone, but your dad made Pissmaster kill himself.
Morty: Oh, man, what?!
Rick: Yeah, I mean, I found him dead and I-I put on his suit, but look at this... he literally blames your dad. (gives Morty the note)
Morty: Holy shit. Wait, you kept the suicide note? That's so messed up!
Rick: I know, I mean, I had to tell someone, Morty. I couldn't just sit on that.
Morty: And you expect me to? (runs in the house)
Rick: Morty, no! What are you doing?!
(Jerry screams. They all run to the garage)
Jerry: What the hell?! He killed himself?
Beth: Jesus, Dad, you should've told us! Especially if Jerry murdered him!
Jerry: Wait, don't say that. I-I didn't murder!
Rick: Hey, I... I thought it was pretty cool that I withheld that information.
Morty: But you didn't withhold it! You're walking around with the note!
Summer: Yeah, Grandpa, you gotta, like, keep it in your heart as a great sacrifice. That's the cool move.
Jerry: I mean, how am I the bad guy? He sprayed piss on us! You-you all cheered me on!
Beth: Don't drag us into this.
Summer: A man is dead, Dad.
Rick: Again, wasn't gonna say it, but I told you this would happen.
Beth: Get off your high horse.
Morty: Dr. Wong would be so proud.
Rick: Go ahead and boo. I was breathing piss, you think I care?
Jerry: Is this what it's like to trend? This is a nightmare! I should've just let him pee on my daughter!
Summer: Ew! What the hell, Dad?
(Shows credits.
Blagnar the Eternal: How about Jack Miller, aka CarJack? He lifted a car off a stranger.
Alien #1: Eh.
Alien #2: I guess.
Alien #3: Next.
Alien #4: Orb-no.
We're fresh off a dad and a piss guy. Maybe we add someone that's already powerful?
Blagnar the Eternal: We have to be realistic about who we can get.
Alien #1: I have a pitch.
Blagnar the Eternal: We're not gonna add Scarlett Johansson. Next up: Mr. Nimbus, lord of the oceans.
Oh, I hear he controls the police.
Alien #1: Wow.
Alien #2: The police?
Alien #3: Orb-yes.
Alien #4: Ohhh. Guys, I already checked. His reps say he's really busy right now.
Alien #1: He just doesn't wanna do it.
Alien #2: Everyone says that.
Blagnar the Eternal: Oh, and we're not busy?