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This is a transcribed copy for the episode "Rickmurai Jack." Feel free to edit or add to this page as long as the information comes directly from the episode. |
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This article is a transcript of the Rick and Morty episode Rickmurai Jack from Season 5.
Opening: The Port Town[]
[The episode opens in a Japanese-style port town, under siege by anthropomorphic owls. The civilians are running and screaming as owls torch the building, but suddenly a gust of dark wind knocks the owls over. A civilian who was held hostage gets up, jumping up and down in glee.]
Alien Woman: It's the Crow Man!
[Cut to Rick Sanchez riding a robot crow-horse, wearing a black witch hat, black cloak, and black heeled cloaks, with the Two Crows perched on his shoulder plates. He dismounts the horse, burping, and draws his sword.]
Owl #1: Give it a second. Maybe he's taking it out to surrender.
[Engulfed in purple flames, Rick leaps into the air and descends down for a slam attack, the crows cawing. The other two owls dive for cover as Rick smashes down onto the first owl, burying him deep into the ground. Rick then picks a white rose, dropping it down onto the owl's corpse.]
Alien Man: He's anti-heroic. Run!
[The civilians panic and flee.]
Owl #2: I don't understand!
Owl #3: He's only one man!
Rick: With the power of a thousand crows.
[Rick lifts his cloak, releasing a murder of crows that all fly into Owl #3's mouth, bloating his body up dangerously. Owl #3 drops his sword and turns to Owl #2.]
Owl #3: Good luck.
[Owl #3 explodes, leaving only white feathers and a pool of blood on the ground.]
Owl #2: Crows and owls have always been at war, but why do you care?! What's the point?
Rick: Here's two.
[Rick unfolds two cybernetic crow wings from his cloak, and impales the owl with one wing before slicing her in half with other. Cut to a crowd cheering behind him, Morty Smith among them.]
Morty: Haha, yeah, cool.
Rick: Morty?
Morty: H-hey man. G-good to see you. (emerges from the crowd) Y-you're like, looking like, into crows. Still.
Rick: Oh, uh, Two Crows, you remember Morty. Morty, Two Crows. It's good to see you, but give me more of a heads-up.
Morty: Oh well I-I was just in the neighborhood. I-it wasn't like—
Rick: It's just that the battle for crows is kinda never-ending.
Morty: Huh. Right. A little pointless then, right? That… came out wrong. S-sounded judgey.
[The Crow Horse walks up to Rick.]
Crow Horse: Crow Horse. Crow Horse. Crow Horse.
[The Two Crows caw in response.]
Morty: Okay. It looks like— it looks like they're leading you to a thing.
Rick: Take care, Morty.
Morty: You-you too. U-uh I'm doing good, by the way. Oh, my dad was gonna eat that yogurt you left in the fridge, but I-I told him—
[Cut straight to an anime-style opening sequence.]
Kaze ni nori tobitachi (I'm riding on the winds)
Kuroi tsubasa hiroge (We are soaring with our black wings)
Itsumademo issho ni tatakau (Forever we will fight together)
Soranohate made (Beyond the sky)
Kimi to (With you)
[The title card, reading "Rick and Two Crows", then appears.',]
Scene 1: The Bar[]
[Cut to Rick riding Crow Horse through a field - he burps, the sound echoing across the valley. That night, he comes to a bar in a bamboo forest and comes inside - the patrons immediately stop talking and turn to face Rick.]
Rick: Ahem. I'm lookin' for Crowscare. The scarecrow? The evil scarecrow. Come on, whoever gives him up first lives.
[Beat. Someone coughs, but nobody else speaks.]
Rick: Fine, I can kill an extra asshole. Helps me get my steps in.
[As Rick draws his sword, he quickly leans back, barely avoiding the double-headed axe flung at his head. It boomerangs back, beheading several patrons, and is caught by an anthropomorphic tiger dressed in battle armour. A name card appears, reading "Pussifer" - Pussifer roars as he lunges at Rick, who blocks his attack. They duel, Pussifer managing to pin Rick down - he prepares to finish him, when a shadowy figure emerges.]
Morty: Rick!
Rick: Morty?
[Rick vanishes in a puff of smoke, leaving a log where he was. Pussifer reacts in confusion.]
Pussifer: Wood??
[Rick appears behind Pussifer and runs him through with his sword, dropping his corpse to the floor. Morty emerges from the shadows, now 40 - he is balding, has bags under his eyes, has a face full of stubble, and is slightly overweight.]
Rick: Uh, Morty. Why are you now like forty?
Morty: Th-that's how long it's been, Rick.
Rick: Oh. Um, I guess we can have a drink together then.
[Rick and Morty sit down at a table. A waiter arrives with two mugs of beer.]
Morty: Do you have a rum and Coke?
Waiter: What are you, twenty?
Morty: Oh-ho-ho. Bless your heart.
[The waiter leaves to get Morty's order.]
Rick: Time be goin' by, don't she? (sips beer)
Morty: That's your reaction to finding out you wasted your entire life?
Rick: I feel okay.
Morty: Well-well, what about me?
Rick: Woah. Excuse us boys, you don't wanna be here for this.
[The Two Crows fly off, cawing.]
Morty: I thought if I gave you enough space, you'd outgrow this phase.
[The waiter returns with a glass of rum, mixed with coke.]
Waiter: Here's your drink, poser.
Morty: Dad got sick, you know. Stage Four. Heh, you woulda loved it. Summer's a nurse. Well, pretty much a nurse. Sh-she married a junkie. Rick, come home. While we still got a little time.
Rick: Morty, what we had wasn't healthy.
Morty: And this is? Y-y-you had a thousand adventures with these crows. When are you gonna kill their big bad?
Rick: First off, the "will-they kill-they" is everything to my guys. And second, fuck you for trying to undermine my happiness.
Morty: This may be the last time you lay eyes on me!
[Rick gets up and heads for the door.]
Rick: I hope that's not true, Morty. Because you look like sh-(burps)-shit, and this is not how I wanna remember you.
[Morty approaches the door, sadly.' ]
Scene 2: Crow Scare's Lair[]
[That night, in Rick's treehouse, Rick is asleep in bed with the Two Crows. The Crows sneak out of bed and fly out the window - unbeknownst to them, however, Rick is awake. He gears up and follows them to Crow Scare's lair, sneaking inside and waiting a door.]
Crowscare: Now that I have his two crows, nothing will stop me from eliminating Crow Rick!
[The Two Crows caw.]
Crowscare: Don't defend him to me, I don't even get what you see in him.
[The Two Crows caw again.]
Crowscare: You're right, we should be enjoying the time we have together.
[Rick bursts through the door. He sees Crow Scare with the Two Crows in the room, sat around a table with a treasure map - Crow Scare quickly pulls it up, covering his chest. The Two Crows caw in shock.]
Crowscare: Crow Rick! Oh, I know what this must look like but—
Rick: Looks like my arch-nemesis Crow Scare and my sidekicks planning adventures together.
Crowscare: You are hardly the victim here. I was adventuring with these two crows before you ever came along.
[Rick looks around the room, noticing various pictures of Crowscare and the Two Crows together - he also sees their bathroom, with one large toothbrush and two smaller ones - a name card pops up, reading "3 Toothbrushes". The Two Crows caw in response.]
Rick: What do you mean, "using me as a rebound"?
[The Two Crows caw.]
Rick: You feel like I was using you as a rebound too? Well shit, this lost all meaning. Guess it could've been worse. At least "adventuring" was just a metaphor for romantic partnership, so it's not a real breakup.
Crowscare: Speak for yourself. We immensely enjoy each other's bodies.
Rick: What?! Eugh, no!
Crowscare: Sounds like the man's asking for proof! Let's show him, fellas!
[Cut away from Crow Scare, as we hear the crows cawing and Crow Scare moaning euphorically. Rick lowers his hat's brim in disgust, backing away.]
Rick: I-I asked for zero proof. Zero proof!
Scene 3: The Smith-Sanchez Home[]
[Rick lands outside the house on Crow Horse. He dismounts it, removes his Crow Rick gear to show his regular getup underneath, then lights a match and throws it on the pile. He then opens a hatch on Crow Horse and inputs some commands.]
Rick: I'm giving you free will. Yah!
[Rick slaps Crow-Horse, who gallops off to freedom.]
Crow Horse: Submit to Crow Horse!
[We hear explosions and screaming off-screen.]
Rick: Whoops.
[Rick rings the doorbell. Morty answers.]
Morty: R-Rick?
Rick: Wubba lubba dub dub! I'm back, pal!
[Jerry arrives.]
Jerry: Morty, who's at the door?
Rick: Wait a minute, I thought you died gruesomely. W-What the hell's going on here?
Morty: See, um, th-the thing is, uh—
[Beth and Summer arrive as well.]
Beth: Can you please make Morty fourteen again, Dad? This is ridiculous.
Morty: Okay, look, I-I may have used an Aging Serum to kind of emotionally blackmail you a little.
Rick: I kinda figured and I totally get it, Morty. I-I'm done with the Two Crows; like, they were super clingy, and I'm ready to make this work.
Morty: Let's just hit the Reset Button.
Beth: Well no, honey, not a reset. Okay? Tell your grandpa that you're worthy of his respect and you wanna be treated differently from now on.
Morty: I refuse to do that, I'm desperate to get back together.
Jerry: Just like his old man.
Rick: Don't worry honey, that's just Morty's middle-age talking. He'll be less codependent once we get more of his life in front of him again.
Summer: Uh, I'd like him to stay forty so he can keep buying my friends molly!
[Everyone glares at Summer.]
Summer: I'd rather throw my vote away than use it to support a flawed system.
Morty: Can we make our first adventure fixing this? I-I keep thinking about lawn care.
Rick: Okay buddy, who sold you this shitty aging serum? What did he look like?
Morty: Just like you! I-I got it from The Citadel.
Rick: Hot damn! Hitting the ground running with a Citadel episode. See ya later, masturbators!
[Rick opens a portal, and he and Morty leave through it.]
Scene 4: The Citadel Plaza[]
[Rick and Morty arrive in The Citadel, which now appears brighter and with more greenery - Ricks and Morties casually stroll around. Our Rick and Morty are quickly met with a mascot dressed as a red "&" sign.]
Andy: Hi! I'm the Citadel's new mascot, Andy. Because this place wouldn't be home without Ricks Andy Morties!
Morty: Dumb.
[Rick and Morty continue walking.]
Rick: Oof. What happened to this place?
Morty: There's a Morty president now. (gestures to a "Salute President Morty" poster above a cafe.)
Rick: Ah, that's cute. They rebuilt. They made it nicer.
Morty: They made it Glendale.
Rick: Goddamn, you are cantankerous.
Morty: Even pooping hurts now.
Rick: Yeah, well, this place is gonna fix you right up.
[Cut to inside a Re-Build-a-Morty store, with our Morty inside a glass pod. Rick is speaking with a Morty employee, as other Ricks browse the services.]
Employee Morty: Okay, so we've got a standard Morty that's been aged to... forty?
Rick: Can you reverse it?
Employee Morty: Well if you look at it like a bone, what we can do is break his age in two places, remove the middle, and graft its ends back together.
Morty: Th-th-that sounds really violent.
Rick: It's not a literal bone, Morty.
Morty: Oh, okay.
Employee Morty: Brace yourself, the process does also break every bone in your body.
Morty: Wait!
[Employee Morty presses a button on the pod's control panel. Two metal sheets suddenly pop up from the floor, slicing Morty's body into three vertical pieces.]
Morty: Aaaah!!! Ooh, ow!
[The middle piece is sucked away, as the other two pieces deflate into two seven-year old Morties.]
Toddler Morty #1: I like crayons.
Toddler Morty #2: Girls are gross.
[The two Morties are then merged together into one Morty. Now fourteen again, Morty emerges from the pod, his skin bright pink.]
Morty: I-I-I think I feel like myself again!
Rick: Eh, you look a little weird. Your skin's all pink like a baby mouse. Is that normal?
[As they discuss this, a deformed Morty crawls out from a manhole on the street.]
Employee Morty: Probably. Uh, sign here for storage or disposal of the twenty-six years we removed.
Rick: Wait, what? I ain't payin' to store twenty-six years!
Employee Morty: Well, then you're taking it with you.
[A second, twenty-six year old Morty, emerges from the pod.]
Adult Morty: I'm almost ready to sell out.
Rick: Alright, what's disposal cost?
[Rick is interrupted by a struggle outside - the deformed Morty, having drawn "End of Days" on a wall with spray paint, with wrestling with two police officer Morties.]
Adult Morty: S-something unfair's happening!
[The deformed Morty frees himself and wrestles with one of the police Morties for his gun.]
Deformed Morty: There's no escape. No escape!
[Adult Morty emerges from the store.]
Adult Morty: Let me help you. This is not a good look!
[Adult Morty tackles the two to the ground. The second police Morty shoots Adult Morty in the chest off-screen.]
Rick: Oh boy.
Morty: Hey, they shot me!
[Morty runs outside. The deformed Morty, now with the gun, is threatening the police Morties.]
Police Morty #2: You are seriously hurting the Citadel experience.
Deformed Morty: Listen to me!
Police Morty #2: Drop the gun!
Deformed Morty: Death is coming for us all! And the Citadel is a weapon of mass destru--!
[The second police Morty shoots the deformed Morty in the head, killing him. Rick comes outside.]
Rick: Woof. You're about to get suspended with pay. Come on, Morty. Let's get out of here before this gets political.
Adult Morty: U-uh... was I... influential?
Morty: Yeah, y-you were influential. You had like seven— seven blogs.
Adult Morty: Tight. (dies)
[A Secret Service car pulls up next to the group, and several Rick agents get out.]
Rick: Ugh. Too late.
Secret Service Rick: Rick C-137. President Morty requests you join him for dinner.
Morty: Whoa! S-seriously?
Rick: You know I destroyed this place.
Secret Service Rick: You've been pardoned for that, sir.
Morty: Rick, let's have dinner with the Morty president.
Rick: Morty, the idea was to get back to simple adventures. The Citadel runs on Canon.
Morty: Okay! I guess things really are going right back to how they were.
Rick: Fine! I could eat. But the second he reveals he's evil, we're gone.
Scene 5: President Morty's Dining Room[]
[Rick and Morty are sat down at a dining table, facing each other - a roast dinner is laid out on it. Morty tests Rick's food.]
Morty: I don't know. Tastes pretty good.
[Rick takes the plate back.]
Rick: Okay, let me know if you start feeling poison-y. Good to have you back, buddy.
[Morty slides his own plate onto his placemat. President Morty arrives from a door and sits down between them.]
President Morty: Sorry I'm late. Never really ends around here.
Rick: Look at this, Morty. They really did make a you the president.
President Morty: And I hate ‘em every day for it. But wow, Rick C-137. Now that's a guy to move your schedule around for. Not-not here to blow the place up again, I hope. Haha.
Rick: Ha! Not unless you try to keep me here.
President Morty: Ah geez, wouldn't dream of it. But it's amazing you dropped by, because I was eventually gonna hunt you down.
Rick: There's the reveal! Let's dance. (draws gun)
President Morty: Ha! Geez.
Morty: Come on, man. The guy got elected president. By Ricks and Morties. He's being really nice.
Rick: All politicians are nice. (puts gun away)
President Morty: He's a hot bag of peanuts, isn't he?
Morty: We've been through a lot, a-and he does not like—
Rick: Serialized drama.
President Morty: Right, no drama. Keep it episodic. Ricks never look back. Waste of a legend in his case. You know, he practically built this place.
Morty: Wait, what?
Rick: And now you're running it squeaky clean, right? That's why you got deformed Morties comin' up through the sewer lines talking about "hope" and "change"?
President Morty: Fair enough.
Morty: Good clap-back, Rick. What's the deal with that, Mr. P?
President Morty: I got a little project going on, acquired some hands-on labor. It would require less if you were willing to tell me how one might bring down the Central Finite Curve.
Rick: Alright, time to go, Morty.
Morty: I wanna know what he's talking about.
President Morty: Yeah, you've come all this way. Can you give me ten more seconds?
Rick: Literally ten? Because now it would be six.
President Morty: Oh, I'm fine with that. Make it two… one.
[Suddenly, a brain-scanning device pops out from a hidden compartment in the table. President Morty takes it, turning on the device to examine Rick's memories.]
President Morty: Like I said, would've been a big help for you to tell me, but I should have everything I need from you now. Let me just make sure…
Rick: You can't scan an entire brain over appetizers.
President Morty: Oh, most of yours got scanned a looong time ago.
[Restraints pop out from the chairs, pinning Rick and Morty in place.]
President Morty: You probably don't remember.
[Scene pauses.]
Rick Stan Lee: Check out Season One, Episode Nine, Rickheads. Excel-(burps)-cior!
[Scene resumes.]
Rick: Evil Rick!
Morty: We kicked his ass!
President Morty: "Evil Rick!" I love it. Smartest man in the universe. With an ego so big, you could just grab it like a joystick.
[The brain scanner deactivates, and President Morty takes it.]
President Morty: Looks complete. I was afraid I'd have to kill every Rick on the Citadel to get what I needed.
Morty: You asshole! I vouched for you! He only came here because I asked him to. I'm sorry, Rick.
Rick: That apology and a screwdriver in my hand would be worth a screwdriver.
President Morty: Pfft, you sell-out Mortys kill me. I'd hate you more than the Ricks you worship if there was any point. But you can't help it; you were bred for it. Wanna see?
[President Morty jams the spike on the brain scanner into Morty's neck - his eyes glaze over as memories are beamed into his brain. We open with a shot of the exterior of Evil Rick's fortress, and the Morty shield outside.]
President Morty: You already know rogue Ricks used Morties to hide themselves from the Citadel. But you might not know it worked so well that the Citadel became its own Morty market.
[Cut to several Ricks scanning universes, identifying Beths and Jerries. In one, a Rick taps Beth's shoulder discreetly while she's in a library - she sees Jerry, and the two strike up conversation. In another, a teenage Jerry is in a school canteen with a lunch tray as a teenage Beth talks with her friends - both are shot with darts laced with love serum, causing Jerry to slip over and Beth to topple onto the floor next to him, and they instantly bond.]
President Morty: And I'm sure you don't know how far they've gone to help supply meet demand. Sure, Ricks could scour infinity for naturally-occurring grandsons, but why bother? So much work. Such an admission of need.
[We see a Rick taking a blood sample from a Morty, and then cut to a cloning factory that produces Morties. We see several naked Morties in a cage - the cage opens, and a screaming Morty is sent down a slide, dressed in his casual attire, and a helmet is put upon him - the helmet is activated by a Rick, brainwashing the Morty with an old Morty's memories, before he is sent through a portal to join said Morty's Rick.]
President Morty: There aren't infinite versions of our grandfather, Morty. He's an infinite smear of one shitty old man, and he's attached to us infinitely through his weakness and our forgiveness. This is why we're with him. This is why we're alive.
[This shot repeats, with Morties repeatedly being brainwashed and sent to replace dead Morties across a network of universes, arranged in a yellow curve. The flashback ends on the Morty factory, as our Morty comes to.]
Morty: What... the fuck?! Rick, say this isn't true!
Rick: It isn't the whole truth.
Morty/President Morty: Liar!/Liar.
Rick: It's complicated!
Morty: I'm not busy.
Rick: Okay, Morty, remember when all I said I needed was your apology and a screwdriver in my hand? Well, I forgot I literally have a screwdriver in my hand. I mean, duh-doi, I'm basically Inspector Gadget.
[Rick frees himself, jumps onto the table, and runs across to Morty, aiming his gun at President Morty.]
President Morty: (calmly) Uh-oh.
[Rick takes a shot, but it is blocked by a force field. He frees Morty as two Rick guards draw their guns.]
President Morty: It's okay, he's free to go. He's the Rickest Rick. We'll never see him again.
[Rick opens a portal to leave, but stops - he turns back, seeing President Morty with a smug grin, and gets suspicious.]
Rick: Morty, when you came here for that serum, did you refill this gun?
Morty: Yeah.
[Rick grabs a guard and shoves him into the portal. The guard yelps as he falls through, and blood spurts out the portal - the coordinates were locked to the Blender Dimension.]
Morty: Holy shit!
Rick: I only know one man that ever hacked my portal gun, and it turned out it was evil you.
President/Evil Morty: Yay! He's all caught up.
[President Morty pushes a button on a remote control, causing four elite Rick guards to drop down from the ceiling.]
Rick: Wait! Hold it, hold it!
[Rick fills a syringe with his blood, then spurts it onto the floor and throws a test tube of purple liquid onto it. The liquid reacts with the blood, creating a fleshy, tumor-covered clone of Rick.]
Morty: Wh-who's that?
Rick: Time for Big Boy. Duck!
[The guards all attack Rick, but their attacks are blocked by an orange force field. The damage is redirected to Big Boy, who begins moaning in pain as he takes the full force of the attacks.]
Morty: Does he like it?
Rick: He's a metaphor for capitalism, Morty. What do you think?
[Using the stored energy from Big Boy, Rick gains a surge of power and easily takes out the guards. He busts the door down, defeating the rest of the guards - Big Boy then explodes, unable to take any more damage. Rick grabs the brain-scanner from across the room using an extendable hand.]
Rick: Yoink!
President/Evil Morty: You can't outrun your past, Rick.
[As Rick and Morty turn to run, Rick takes another shot at President Morty. The force field blocks it.]
President Morty: Tch. Did you think my force field would be down the second time?
Rick: I was expressing disapproval of your dialogue!
[Rick and and Morty escape.]
President Morty: Ahaha! Disapprove all you want. Tonight, the quality of dialogue stops mattering. Tonight, I do that thing I wanna do, with the Curve thing.
Scene 6: The Citadel in Chaos[]
Loudspeaker System: Nobody leave, everybody stay. Nobody leave, everybody stay. Nobody leave, everybody stay...
[Naturally, everyone is skeptical of this. In the Citadel plaza, a Rick attempts to leave with his portal gun, only to be sucked into the Blender Dimension and killed. The surrounding Ricks and Morties hear his death scream, and this triggers a panic - another Rick attempts to escape, meeting the same fate. Two Morties go for their portal guns, but one is incinerated by a flamethrower on the other end, while the other is grabbed by robot tentacles and torn in half. A Morty is sucked into a blending tube, a Rick is gunned down by a machine gun, etc. - chaos erupts across the Citadel, with fires spouting across the inner city and many Ricks and Morties dying. A broadcast of "Citadel News" plays, with the headline "WE'RE F#%KED".]
Rick D-716: In uncertain times like these, I think it's important for me to say "eat shit, fuck you!" The drug companies paid for me to say every word, I have millions of dollars, and I don't care—
[Rick D-716 goes for his portal gun, but is grabbed by a tentacled alien on the other end.]
Rick D-716: Oh, God! Oh fuck, no! Whoa--
[Rick D-716 is dragged through to his demise. Rick D-716-B sits down at the desk.]
Rick D-716: And I'd just like to say that prescription drugs are great and you should buy them now.
[Rick and Morty exit the Presidential Building as the Citadel descends into anarchy - two Ricks are seen fighting, while others are murdered by their portal guns. Fires rage across the area as we hear screaming.]
Morty: What's happening, Rick?!
Rick: He hacked the entire city's portal supply. Come on, there still might be one way out of here: out the bottom.
[Rick puts on a laser visor that cuts a hole in the floor - Morty jumps into his arms, and the two descend down.]
Scene 7: Portal Fluid Mines[]
[Rick and Morty emerge underground and hide. They watch as Rick guards oversee portal fluid being manufactured.]
Morty: What do you think he needed from your brain?
Rick: I assume schematics for the Citadel's dimensional drive. If he's gonna use it to blow the Curve, we do not wanna be here.
Morty: What is the Central Finite Curve?
Rick: Q&A after our survival. Hopefully we can snag some untainted fluid at the source and get the fuck outta here!
[Just as Rick and Morty reach the portal fluid containers, they are all drained away.]
Rick: Or not.
[Rick and Morty descend down to see all the portal fluid being emptied into one large vat. We hear Morties groaning in agony.]
Rick: Wow. I thought my capitalism metaphor was on the nose.
[The deformed Morties are being made to work in the mines - a Rick oversees their work, whipping them.]
Morty: So did you help build the Citadel? Did you just lie to me about everything?
Rick: Can't you just sneak through the cave base? We turned a new leaf, Morty. We're back to simple adventures.
Morty: It's not a new leaf until you tell me everything!
Rick: Morty, we really don't have time for this. The whole place is gonna blow.
Morty: No, I-I don't trust you. I-I-I don't wanna do this anymore if I'm not gonna get straight answers from you.
Rick: God damm it! (takes out the brain scanner) Here's my fucking downloaded brain, Morty. You wanna jump the shark? You wanna know my stupid crybaby backstory? Knock yourself out.
[Morty grabs it and sticks the scanner into his neck again.]
Rick: No-not now!
[A flashback begins. We see a jacket-wearing Rick kill C-137 Rick's Diane and Beth as previously seen in "The Rickshank Rickdemption", with Rick being rescued by an ambulance - some time later, after living a disheveled and lonely life, he is motivated to finish inventing the portal gun. He spends his days travelling between dimensions, during which time he builds the Space Cruiser, studies the flora and fauna of the universes he enters, and makes do as an arms dealer - evading backstabbing buyers, he eventually decides to hunt for the Rick who killed his family. After spending some time with Birdperson, Rick began travelling the multiverse, killing every alternate Rick he came across to try and find his target, but never could, causing him to descend into a bitter, lonely, depressed, and alcoholic old man. As Rick sulks in his home universe, killing hostile Ricks left and right, a group of Ricks band together to form the Council of Ricks, hoping to stop him. After some time, C-137 Rick and the Citadel form a truce, C-137 builds the Citadel for the other Ricks and promises not to kill any more - he then returns to his target Rick's universe, hoping to wait him out. The flashback ends with him and a tearful Beth reuniting, and Rick going on adventures with that universe's Morty - our Morty.]
Scene 8: Citadel Dimensional Drive[]
[Morty snaps back to reality, Rick having carried him.]
Morty: Whoa. Dead wife?
Rick: Yes. Now everyone can shut up about it.
Morty: Wow, Rick. I feel a lot better having seen all that.
[Rick sets Morty down in a dark room. The lights suddenly blink on.]
Evil Morty: Of course that's the case. In their minds, they're the underdog.
[We see Evil Morty inside a glass pod. Rick takes a shot, but it bounces off the glass.]
Evil Morty: And that's how they justify this.
(Evil Morty presses a button on a remote, creating a hologram of the Central Finite Curve. It is a large spiral consisting of several yellow energy balls, each ball a universe - we can see each universe's Rick tormenting their Morty in various ways and being a general piece of shit - among them, we see a psychopathic Rick with a knife, a Rick massacring people with Crow Horse, a Rick surrounded by flames, and another passed out, drunk, on a bed.]
Rick: Morty, I'm not responsible for every fucked up Rick out there.
Evil Morty: They literally all say that. They all have that excuse; it's part of their system. None of them have to be responsible, they're all victims of themselves. (sarcastically) "Oh, it's so hard to be a genius!" Couldn't you just die?
Morty: Well what are you doin' about it?
Evil Morty: Jack shit. I'm leaving. Do you know what the Central Finite Curve is? They built a wall around Infinity, separated all the infinite universes from all the infinite universes where he's the smartest man in the universe. Every version of us has spent every version of all of our lives in one infinite crib, built around an infinite fucking baby.
(Events from various universes on the Finite Curve are shown: Rick sitting at his workbench with a pained expression, Rick wearing his ‘King of Shit' crown, an injured Morty holding an injured Rick, Rick sadly sitting down in a chair next to a device with a memory tube in it.)
Evil Morty: And I'm leaving it. That's what makes me ‘evil', being sick of him. If you've ever been sick of him, you've been evil too.
Morty: Rick, did you really leave the crows for me? Or did you come back because they dumped you?
(Rick looks away and says nothing.)
Evil Morty: There you go, kid! Now you're Evil Morty too. Sooner or later, we all are, on this side of the Curve.
[Evil Morty puts on a cybernetic eyepatch and presses a button, activating the dimensional drive - it fires a beam, which begins to open a wormhole.]
[Ext. Citadel, Plaza and Tramway]
(Portal fluid bursts from the ground, sweeping away everything in its path. Explosions occur across the Citadel, which tilts on its axis.',x)
Orange Afro Rick: Don't worry, Morty. We still got a way out they never thought of. Operation Phoenix.
Orange Afro Morty: Doesn't that still mean, like, death?!
(Orange Afro Rick pulls out a gun and hands it to his Morty.)
Orange Afro Rick: Sure, but the joke's on them cuz we just found a backdoor to getting off this rock.
(Orange Afro Morty shoots his Rick. A pillar falls on him, crushing him to death.)
[Trans. Int. Operation Phoenix Vats]
(Orange Afro Morty opens his eyes in a vat.)
Female computer voice: Rerouted. Rerouted. Rerouted.
(Ricks and Mortys wake up in vats with blender blades at the bottom. They are liquefied, and the blood is sent to power the beam opening a hole in the Finite Curve.)
Female computer voice: Rerouted. Rerouted. Rerouted.
(The vats are shown to be in the chamber that Rick, Morty, and President Morty are standing in. As the machine is fed blood, the beam from the Dimensional Drive grows stronger.)
Morty: Oh my fucking God!
Rick: Come on Morty, we gotta go!
(The room shakes and debris falls from the ceiling. Rick is trapped underneath a heavy plank of wood.)
Morty: Woah!
President Morty: You can come if you want.
(President Morty, now in a spacesuit, steps out of the glass dome around the control panel. A small spaceship is next to him.)
President Morty: Don't blame me if you don't.
Rick: Ugh. From where I sit, Morty, that's the best deal on the table. I-I don't have a real plan.
(Morty lifts the plank of wood off of Rick. Rick gets to his feet.)
Rick: Thanks, pal. I-I'm glad you ignored my advice.
President Morty: It's just as well. I lied. That second seat's a toilet.
Morty: Oh, super dick move! But weirdly kind of cool to admit it.
Rick: Geez, you guys really are bred for forgiveness. Let's go.
(Rick and Morty run out of the chamber.)
[Ext. Citadel Street]
(Rick and Morty climb out of a manhole. Around them, deformed Mortys are crawling out from the sewers. A wave of portal fluid washes towards them.
They all get on a train and head for a different part of the Citadel: Mortyburg. Rick, Morty, and all the other Mortys on the train disembark.)
Rick: Say goodbye to the Citadel, fellas.
(Rick presses a button labeled ‘DISENGAGE'. The entrance to Mortyburg closes and an alarm sounds. The circular section of the Citadel separates from the main body, and thrusters engage.)
(For the Damaged Coda begins to play.)
(A hole opens up in space behind them, sucking the detached portion of the Citadel towards it. Rick struggles to activate the boosters.)
[Ext. Citadel, Space]
(The beam shuts off, leaving a rift in the Curve.)
[Int. Citadel Dimensional Drive Chamber]
(President Morty straps himself into the personal spaceship. The robotic arm holding the ship upright loads it into the exit chute. A pneumatic arm engages and shoots the spaceship out the bottom of the Citadel.
President Morty approaches the rift in the Central Finite Curve. Behind him, explosions erupt throughout the Dimensional Drive chamber.)
[Ext. Citadel, Space]
(Rick is still struggling to engage the boosters. Then he sees the sign: 'BOOSTER CONTROL MUST OPERATE WITH PARTNER'.
Rick offers his hand to Morty, pulling him towards the control panel against the G forces pulling them backwards towards the rift in space. They activate the boosters together.
Rick pulls his portal gun out of his pocket. There's no more fluid left in it. They both turn and watch the Citadel explode.)
[Ext. Central Finite Curve Rift]
(President Morty watches in awe as he breaks through the barrier. Finally, his thrusters turn off and he is floating in the space between universes. He opens the front of the spaceship and presses a button on one of his wrist pads. A holographic representation of the Central Finite Curve is projected into the air in front of him, then bursts like miniature fireworks.
President Morty takes out a golden Portal Gun and creates a golden colored portal. He steps inside, and the portal closes behind him.)
[CREDITS]
[Int. Mr. Poopybutthole's Apartment]
(Mr. Poopybutthole turns off the TV playing the show credits.)
Mr. Poopybutthole: Woo-wee! Evil Morty! That was quite a scheme. Makes me wonder if there's an evil me out there. But I guess, sometimes I look at my life, and I may not even need ‘im. Cause, well, guess I made a pretty big mess of things myself. Ooo-eee.
(He gets out of his chair and walks to the stove.)
Mr. Poopybutthole: I never got my job at the university back. Remember that? Rick made me do karate. It was kinda funny, but I guess things went downhill from there.
(He picks up a ramen package off the counter and opens it.)
Mr. Poopybutthole: Started isolating myself from Amy. Used to tell her everything I was feeling.
(He dumps the noodles into the pot on the stove.)
Mr. Poopybutthole: But then I guess I stopped.
(He picks up a photo of Amy.)
Mr. Poopybutthole: Because I wanted her to love who she thought I was, not who I felt myself becoming.
(He puts the photo of Amy back down.)
Mr. Poopybutthole: Ever think about how horrified the people we love would be if they found out who we truly are? So we just dig ourselves deeper, into our lies every day, (he walks back over to the stove) ultimately only hurting the people who were brave enough to love us.
(He pours the seasoning packet into the pot, then throws the empty packet on the ground.)
Mr. Poopybutthole: Wish I didn't do that!
(He reaches into the sink and pulls out a fork. He turns off the stove and starts stirring the ramen.)
Mr. Poopybutthole: Wish I was brave enough to love them back. I don't know. Maybe you should try it.
(He carries the pot over to his chair and leans against the armrest.)
Mr. Poopybutthole: We don't have as much time as we think. Ooo eee.