PM-icon-101 This is a transcribed copy for the episode "The Ricks Must Be Crazy." Feel free to edit or add to this page as long as the information comes directly from the episode.
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This article is a transcript of the Rick and Morty episode The Ricks Must Be Crazy from Season 2. It aired on August 30, 2015.

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walking away from Egan Cinema

Morty: Geez, I can't believe we found a version of Earth with a Ball Fondlers movie franchise.

Summer: I can't believe the things this reality considers PG-13

Morty: Yeah, I'm pretty jealous.

Rick: Don't be Morty, there are pros and cons to every reality, fun facts about this one; it's got giant telepathic spiders, eleven 9/11's, aaaand the best ice cream in the multiverse!

Summer: Shut up! Morty: W-whoa!

Rick: We're gonna go get some ice-cream motherfuckers!

Car does not start.

Rick: Oh great.

Morty: Oh boy. W-what's wrong Rick, is it the quantum carburettor or something?

Rick: Quantum carburettor? Jesus Morty; you can't just add a sci fi word to a car word and hope it means something. Huh, it looks like something's wrong with the microverse battery - we're going to have to go inside.

Morty: Uhm. Go inside what?

Rick: The battery Morty. Be right back Summer; stay put, don't touch any buttons, and ignore all random thoughts that feel -- spider-y.

Summer: Wait! You can't leave me here!

Rick: You'll be fine. Ship, keep Summer safe.

Ship: Keep. Summer. Safe.

Summer: Egh, wonderful.

Man with scar across his face and a ponytail approaches the car.

Man: Hey, excuse me, hello?

Summer: Uhmm...

Man: What you think you're better than me? Nobody's better than me! Ey! ey!

He is banging on the ship's window; the ship extends an arm from the back and cuts him into cubes with a laser.

Summer: Agh! Aghaaaa!

Ship: Keep. Summer. Safe.

Thinner Man: Hey man, what the hell! That was my daughter's paediatrician! Uagha!

The ship lifts him off the ground with an arm and prepares to kill him with another laser.

Summer: No! Stop, don't kill him!

Ship beeps.

Ship: Confirmed.

Ship fires a single red laser into his back, and drops him to the ground

Thinner Man: Uaghuu. Ugh. Uh. Oh God! I can't feel my legs! Help! He-elp!

Ship: Summer is safe.

Summer curls into fetal position and starts crying

Summer: I don't feel safe.

Ship: Confirmed.

ship reclines chair and begins playing soothing music.

the now paralysed man bangs on the door while crying.

Thinner Man: Oh God help me! Help me! help me please! You can help me.

//intro plays

Morty: Oh man. Where are we Rick?

Rick: Morty, remember eight seconds ago when -burp- when you said 'go inside what' and I said 'the battery' and then we showed up here?

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